The fact is, sometimes we don’t feel okay. If there is one thing I have learned over the last few years, it is that it is okay to acknowledge this. My old pattern would be to pretend that I was fine and cover up all signs of being less than okay. I wouldn’t tell anyone how I felt because I was afraid to admit I was less than in control. I didn’t want to look like I was failing, I didn’t want to show my vulnerability. I would isolate myself. These days though I recognise the signs and see it for what it is. Admitting that you are struggling isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t always fit with the image of us that we want people to see. Social media probably has a lot to do with this – it is full of people who seem to have perfect lives, perfect relationships, perfect homes and perfect jobs, not to mention the perfect children and the perfect pets. I am a life-coach and so my passion is about helping other people to live their best lives and to make the mindset shifts and the changes they need. However, to get there I’ve had to make those mindset shifts and those changes myself, and the truth is that it is not something that you fix and then you’re done – it needs consistent work and I am only human and sometimes I forget to look after myself properly and then I don’t feel okay.
In me this manifests in waking up in the night with anxiety and not knowing why, or waking up in the morning feeling panicked. When that happens I know that I am not okay, and now, instead of hiding it and rushing on with the day, I sit with the feeling, acknowledge it, and then rather than being frustrated at my weakness I will reach out to a trusted friend. This often helps you see it from a different perspective and grounds you, and helps you to reframe the issue. My next step is to start working on myself to get my mindset back in balance. For me that means doing some mindset work, some Emotional Freedom Technique, talking things over with a friend, some meditation, affirmations, go for a walk, some gratitude work. Embracing the ‘not okay’ times instead of rushing past them is the key, reframing the situation and acknowledging the situation. This is about accepting and moving through, not ignoring.
Being authentic and honest is the key. Dwelling on your perceived failure freezes you and stops you from reaching out for help and clouds your judgement to make good decisions.
My take-away from this is that is is okay to give myself permission to not be okay sometimes. I accept that I might not have a solution to a problem right now, and that’s okay too. This will pass too,
We are conditioned to think that we have to always be in control and always have it together, but we are human, we are flawed, and it is okay not to be okay.
Thanks for reading, if you would like to find out about working with me please get in touch.